STANDARD ISSUE PUNK ROCK ZINE!

STANDARD ISSUE was a real, live, blood 'n' guts, punk rock zine from Ottawa, Canada and it was totally rad and all the cool kids liked it.

WE DON'T DO REVIEWS OR INTERVIEWS ANYMORE! DON'T EMAIL US ABOUT EITHER! AND WE NEVER REVIEWED DIGITAL COPIES OF ANYTHING SO DOUBLE DON'T BOTHER EMAILING US ABOUT THAT! THANKS!

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STOP SENDING US SHIT FOR REVIEW; WE DON'T DO THAT SHIT ANYMORE!

REVIEW: FOUND DEAD IN TRUNK - KEROSENE COCKTAIL CD (75orLess, Warren, RI)
Connecticut’s FOUND DEAD IN TRUNK offer up some early MISFITS worship that’s lo-fi without sounding trebly; there’s still plenty of meat on those hooks.  Chop up some very early IRON MAIDEN carrots, take a handful of BLACK SABBATH at their punkest-sounding, add them both to the MISFITS broth, and you get the idea (as long as the MAIDEN and SABBATH comparisons didn’t get you thinking metal, or even crossover; this is still straight-up punk).

I could DEFINITELY picture ‘Hawks And Doves’ being on the soundtrack to a classic skate video — I could picture ALL OF THIS being on the soundtrack to a classic skate video.  Shred-worthy!

These guys have their rhythm guitar churning out some charging riffs with the bass and drums along for the hellride, then lead guitar takes off every once in a while for a mosh around the fretboard, just goin’ nuts!  The vocals are rough but limber; they glide around everything (sprinkling lyrics about death, hate, and John Wayne Gacey wherever they go) and the result’s some tough, raw, evil-sounding punk with plenty of swagger and REALLY satisfying hooks and melodies to punch the air to.  Every track sounds different and has something to offer.  Not a dud in the bunch.

If this were some long-lost recording from the late ’70s, this’d be Ebay gold right now.  Get this if you can, see these guys live if you can.  Rad shit.  NOT SHITTY

A review of the album’s artwork: Kind of a messy, two-color silkscreen (the image I’ve used here is off the internet; my copy’s a lot messier).  These guys deserved better than this.  At least it’s not in a plastic jewel case (it’s a cardboard gate-fold sleeve). KINDA SHITTY

—BEN JENSEN

REVIEW: FOUND DEAD IN TRUNK - KEROSENE COCKTAIL CD (75orLess, Warren, RI)

Connecticut’s FOUND DEAD IN TRUNK offer up some early MISFITS worship that’s lo-fi without sounding trebly; there’s still plenty of meat on those hooks.  Chop up some very early IRON MAIDEN carrots, take a handful of BLACK SABBATH at their punkest-sounding, add them both to the MISFITS broth, and you get the idea (as long as the MAIDEN and SABBATH comparisons didn’t get you thinking metal, or even crossover; this is still straight-up punk).

I could DEFINITELY picture ‘Hawks And Doves’ being on the soundtrack to a classic skate video — I could picture ALL OF THIS being on the soundtrack to a classic skate video.  Shred-worthy!

These guys have their rhythm guitar churning out some charging riffs with the bass and drums along for the hellride, then lead guitar takes off every once in a while for a mosh around the fretboard, just goin’ nuts!  The vocals are rough but limber; they glide around everything (sprinkling lyrics about death, hate, and John Wayne Gacey wherever they go) and the result’s some tough, raw, evil-sounding punk with plenty of swagger and REALLY satisfying hooks and melodies to punch the air to.  Every track sounds different and has something to offer.  Not a dud in the bunch.

If this were some long-lost recording from the late ’70s, this’d be Ebay gold right now.  Get this if you can, see these guys live if you can.  Rad shit.  NOT SHITTY

A review of the album’s artwork: Kind of a messy, two-color silkscreen (the image I’ve used here is off the internet; my copy’s a lot messier).  These guys deserved better than this.  At least it’s not in a plastic jewel case (it’s a cardboard gate-fold sleeve). KINDA SHITTY

—BEN JENSEN